Heart Surgery Pt. 1

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you." 1 Peter 5:6

Last week it felt like God had another teaching moment for me and it was the realization that sometimes He will allow you in a battle empty handed so that when you DO get the victory, you’ll know it wasn’t you, but Him! Little did I know that soon I would smile and say “God this is more than I prayed for”.  I couldn’t see how God was going to do it, just like Abraham didn’t see how he’d be the father of many nations.  The Israelites didn’t see how they’d escape from Egypt.  Joseph didn’t see how he’d get out of prison. I couldn’t see how we would get Veya to a safe place for her to receive her open-heart surgery …but GOD did it! He made a way for it! Veya received her long-awaited surgery!  (typing that out feels so surreal)

On Easter Monday, we received the news from the medical team that Veya would go for her full repair the following Tuesday morning.  (You can just imagine the shocked both Jer and I felt with the massive shift in their plans as we were expecting to allow her lungs to recovery over the next number of weeks.) 

We were excited to hear but it didn’t fully register that our pleading prayers for surgery were just answered from God in that moment. Oddly enough it so happened to be that it was also April 1^st when they told us, so we were kind of holding our breath wondering if they were pulling an April fools joke on us…and if not them…. would Veya pull the joke on us because you just never know with that girl (haha)

Early Tuesday morning, I made my way back over to Sick Kids to meet up with Jer and at 7:30am we walked our daughter off to the OR. We have had our fair share of hard moments in life, many of which have to do with Veya and this journey, but one of the hardest was letting them take her away for open heart surgery. Thankfully the day passed by quickly, and as I sit here reflecting...it all seems like a blur. Yet, it also felt like endless ticks on the clock. Each passing slower than the last.

The actual OR time was 5 hours, but it was closer to 7 hours by the time she was taken back and before we could see her again. During her surgery they patched two holes and they had to split one of her valves that formed together into two separate functioning valves. To give you a better understanding of how they were able to operate on her heart, the heart has to be completely drained of blood (she becomes placed on a bypass machine which pumps the blood throughout her body for her), after any fix or change is made, they must restart her heart (allow blood to flow) and examine. When a problem arises, they must do this process all over again. Veya was put through this process 3 times. Her body was put under rigorous pressure and changes 3 times. And all 3 times she fought back with God on her side! The team commented afterwards on how happy they were with how Veya held up throughout it all, considering that they had the ECMO team included during her repair because they were expecting to put her on that life support to assist her damaged lungs if they couldn’t pull through. 

Walking back in to see Veya after her repair will be a feeling that I will never forget. I finally let myself take, what felt like, my first breath of air the entire day. As if I had been holding my breath until that exact moment. Tubes, wires, tape, and patches covered her body. But it was okay because I could see her again. I could see her breathing. I could touch her sweet face. And I could feel my first sense of relief.

 This was the moment I thought would be the hardest: seeing her with machines hooked to every part of her body, with bandages over her chest, with a tube draining blood from around her heart; but, ironically, it was the easiest part of my day. The easiest part from these last four months.

Because seeing her like that meant it was all over. We were on the other side, the side that never seemed to be within arms reach, the side that just always felt like a dream and could never possibly be a reality for Veya. When we thought it was too late, that the window of opportunity had passed us by…that’s when God whispered, “We don’t use the same watch”.  It was then that it hit me, we were hanging by a thread…but it was attached to the hem of His garment. We just needed to keep having faith and now we get to focus on Veya’s healing, recovery and bringing home a healthier baby one day Lord willing.

Not many families in the Cardiac Critical Care Unit are able to say the same. We know this to be true.  One of the very first weeks here at Sick Kids, we witnessed it.  A mother and father being told that their child wasn’t going to make it back off ECMO support.  No words can adequately express just how thankful we are to God for this miracle and for sustaining Veya’s life.  No words. To our knees we fall with complete joy in our hearts.