Veya Hope VanderBrugghen

We have been a bit silent here on the blog, mainly because things have somewhat quieted down for Veya, but in the quietness, there has been more time for reflection…and some discussion amongst her team here about transferring her care back to McMaster.   So with that all we have just been processing some emotions that have surfaced together from our time here at Sick Kids.   Living life in the CICU has been incredibly eye opening in more ways than one.   There have been things we felt prepared for and so many things that we were not.   It can be easy to live one breath to the next, but the reality of just how fragile our lives are….escapes us most days. We didn’t expect how much we would be impacted by every other family that shared the room with us these past couple of months, watching them go through the hardest moments of their lives too.   Our chests would tighten every time the alarms went off and our hearts would ache having watched parents walk down the...

"And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be Still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." Mark 4:39 Veya is now nine days post op. and in the words of her medical team “She is THRIVING” She is doing so incredibly well!   Better than they were expecting! Veya was monitored for 48 hours for potential seizures following her repair, thankfully those scans came back clear for her. A few days later, they removed her chest tube drain, her external pacemaker and a few other lines that were there to support her heart during the critical phases of recovery.   We were introduced to a new group of medical folks, the immunology team because it was discovered during Veya’s heart surgery that she was missing what is called her Thymus Gland.   This gland sits on top of our heart and is responsible for the growth, development and training of our T Cells which are very important to our immune system function, especially for babies and young chil...

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you."  1 Peter 5:6 Last week it felt like God had another teaching moment for me and it was the realization that sometimes He will allow you in a battle empty handed so that when you DO get the victory, you’ll know it wasn’t you, but Him! Little did I know that soon I would smile and say “God this is more than I prayed for”.  I couldn’t see how God was going to do it, just like Abraham didn’t see how he’d be the father of many nations.  The Israelites didn’t see how they’d escape from Egypt.  Joseph didn’t see how he’d get out of prison. I couldn’t see how we would get Veya to a safe place for her to receive her open-heart surgery …but GOD did it! He made a way for it! Veya received her long-awaited surgery!  (typing that out feels so surreal) On Easter Monday, we received the news from the medical team that Veya would go for her full repair the following Tuesda...

When life feels crippling, chaotic, and crushing… it’s easy to believe the lie that we are the ones who hold the responsibility to come up with the answers and solutions that are needed. We try to fix the distance in that relationship. We go back and forth on whether we should quit or stay in our job. We fill our calendars attempting to juggle everything in the schedule. We try to make peace and resolve all the family drama. (We try to make the best healthcare decisions for our medically complex child…)   We strategize and plan. We make appointments, attempt conversations, and get out our calendars, but in all our attempts we still feel anxious it might not be the best solution or maybe we have not done enough.  (Proverbs31ministries) Reading Isaiah 26:3 it reminds us, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” So, while we felt like we were in deep waters the last couple of weeks with Veya and were asked to consider ...

My devotions tonight, fittingly enough… took me to Matthew 14 where Jesus walks on the water and it made me recognize that I’m having a Peter moment. In vs 29-30 Jesus said to Peter “Come”.   So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.   But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink.” When Peter took his eyes off Jesus and got distracted by fear it caused him to sink and nearly took him under, but Jesus never moved.   He stayed right where he had always been.   Vs. 31 - Peter cried out “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” Immediately. Immediately Jesus caught him. God knew I needed to be reminded that no matter what’s swirling around me today, He is there ready, willing, and able to help just like he did for Peter.   So, I’m being gentle with myself, pausing and taking a deep breath and refocusing myself back to God when the current circumstances with Veya want to pull me ...

  "For everything there is a season; and a time for every matter under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is this quote on God’s timing that I just can’t get enough of lately.   “God is never early, never late, but right on time.” And unfortunately, I can have this microwave mentality (especially as of late) with God where I want everything right now, I don’t want to wait anymore….haven’t we waited long enough.   But God is never early. Why? Because if He just gave us everything whenever we wanted…how would we develop faith and trust and patience?   God’s also never late because He’s not a mean God, He’s not a vengeful God, but He’s right on time.   Proverbs 16:4 reminds me that God made everything with a place and a purpose and in Ecclesiastes 3:1 it says there is an appointed time and season for everything. So, while we continue to be in this season of waiting for answers and what steps to take next with our daughter, we must remain obedient to God, pursue God...

"God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19 The last few weeks for Veya had been uneventful, up until this past week.  She remained quite stable at McMaster while we had to wait for a bed spot to open for her at the cardiac ICU in Toronto.  Jer and I were finally able to hold Veya for the first time in the last four weeks of not being able to due to her dialysis cycles.  I got to hold her on my birthday, and it truly was the best gift ever!  As I mentioned in my previous post, we are so thankful to have held her a handful of times before her transfer to Toronto, because unfortunately we are not able to for the time being because Veya is very fragile. Monday February 19 th (Family Day) Veya was transferred to Toronto Sick Kids.   Her transfer brought about relief and yet had us feeling anxious all at the same time with the change that was coming for our family.   Getting her setup an...