Veya Hope VanderBrugghen

“The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.” Nahum 1:7 Heart Warriors   They are born fighters because from the moment they enter this world, they are thrown into the heart of the storm.   Their first breath filling their lungs and asking their hearts to do something they might not be capable of.   Asking their body to fight to survive at only seconds old.   They don’t know any different.   They don’t know what it is like to not have to fight to live.     They fight for each retracted breath. They fight for each raspy cry. They fight for every ounce they consume. They fight for each milestone achieved. They fight through withdrawal. They fight through pain. So much pain. They fight through medication weans. They fight through therapies. They fight through surgeries where their hearts are stopped. They fight for each day, hour and minute they are here with us.   They fight.   Harder than anyone you will

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7   Looking back at last week, we are so thankful that our little heart warrior had an uneventful week (but in good ol’ Veya fashion…. she had to make up for it once the weekend came around) On Sunday the team had to stop her dialysis cycles because she was no longer draining well.   (They inject a solution in her abdomen through her pd catheter which is supposed to dwell for 30 minutes and then drain but this was not happening, so she had some fluid retention again) The nephrology (kidney) team came by Monday afternoon and did some trouble shooting and so far, their efforts look like it has helped, and they have started up her cycles once again.   As I’m writing here, the cycles continue to go well for Veya.   The plan

There’s a song that has been our anthem through this entire journey with Veya called Sparrows by Cory Asbury and I would love to take a moment to share some of the lyrics with you. The sparrow's not worried 'bout tomorrow Or the troubles to come The lily's not thinking 'bout the seasons The drought or the flood A tree that's planted by the water Isn't fazed by the fire So why should I be? 'Cause You take good care of me You take good care of me You know what I need before I even ask a thing And You hold me in Your hands With a kindness that never ends I'm carried in Your love no matter what the future brings Yeah, You take good care of me   Every time we listen to this song, it’s a beautiful reminder of His promises. There have been many moments of worry and at times where we feel discouraged as Veya’s parents…wanting so badly restoration and healing for her.   Yet we are reminded that she first belongs to God and regardle

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."   Psalm 27: 13,14 We love this little girl so much, we physically hurt.  There is so much we don’t know and understand but there is only thing we do, the goodness of God and His ability to intervene in this situation.  We have seen this play out too many times in our own life to deny it.  (Even if it feels foggy at times) God intervened just the other week for Veya...He intervened at the beginning of our marriage and again when we began the road to recovery with Jers alcoholism and AGAIN when Jer had his at work accident which very easily could have taken him from us.  God saw us through ALL of that and without a doubt He is seeing us through this journey with our daughter.  We are laying Veya at His feet pleading and He is meeting us there.   We can’t explain it…it’s something we feel as we move through each hour,

Trust in the  Lord  with all your heart,  and do not lean on your own understanding. 6  In all your ways acknowledge him,  and he will make straight your paths. 7  Be not wise in your own eyes;  fear the  Lord , and turn away from evil. 8  It will be healing to your flesh   and refreshment to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 Following Veya’s intubation…she has remained stable (for the most part) She received a blood transfusion due to her hemoglobin levels being low, which also brought back her beautiful color.    On January 8 th the nephrologist (kidney doctor) requested to meet with us.   We learned at this meeting that Veya’s kidneys were not functioning well.   What totally surprised us was that she wasn’t born with healthy kidneys to start with.   (I asked how this might have been missed on the ultrasounds I went routinely for…and they explained that the issue with them is not their size but rather their tissue.) Veya has been diagnosed with mild to moderate kidney disease.   Mean

“In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard by voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.” Psalm 18:6 On January 3rd, it was decided at our family meeting…that Veya needed to be intubated should she experience a cardiac arrest.   (a process in which a tube is inserted through the mouth or nose, then down into their trachea) The tube keeps the trachea open so that air can get through.   The tube is connected to a machine that delivers air or oxygen to Veya.   To keep her comfortable while intubated, they had to sedate her with fentanyl. This was hard for us to learn…and to be honest I don’t think we will ever be okay with this precious little girl on such strong sedatives and medication.   However, we understand with her fragile state, she requires it… but we pray it won’t be too harsh on her little body and that it won’t cause further problems for her down the road. Within hours of being intubated and sedated, Veya began to stabilize

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10   If there is anything these last number of weeks has shown me, it is…. how out of control I am of this season we are in.   That there is tremendous freedom in letting go…and trusting God.   Giving Veya the space and time to rest and heal…while trusting God and surrendering my plans to Him.   It’s difficult to hold your children with open hands…but it’s the only way to get through this and come out the other side.     Since our last update, Veya’s condition became very critical. Her left and right ventricles were still having troubles pumping well…and on the evening of December 29 th , she began to spike a fever.   (The fevers carried on for four nights and only came on during the evenings) We met with the Infectious Team who carried out numerous blood tests and various lab work, including a lumbar puncture, to

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.   2 Corinthians 12:9-10   Let’s do a little fast forwarding…. it’s now December 27 th and I’m sitting here just trying to wrap my head around the fact that our baby girl has been in the NICU for the past 24 days!  Hospital time, what a mystery: it literally passes in the blink of an eye but sits at a standstill, all at the same time and I’m sure anyone who has had to spend any significant time in a hospital would agree with us.    The first week in NICU was the best week Veya has had.  She had graduated from level 3 down to level 2 in the NICU which surprised all of us and felt like a huge relief! Unfortunately, she didn’t get to spend t

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”   Psalm 147:3   For the rest of my pregnancy, both Veya and I were followed very closely, it bi weekly appointments for growth and wellness ultrasounds, blood work to monitor my very low iron levels and antibody issues that could pass to Veya and cause her to become anemic while in utero. (The anti body issue I contracted from blood transfusions I needed after the birth of our first daughter and thankfully wasn’t an issue my pregnancy with Veya) It was numerous appointments with cardiology, neonatal team and our social worker.   It was decided at my 35 week appointment with cardiology that they would allow me to have a natural labor and delivery with Veya. This was another answered prayer and I couldn’t wait to meet her, to see her. I was longing to hear her cry and to know she was here with us. I envisioned a sigh of relief with her birth… and then I didn’t. Because I also knew that when she was born reality would set

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   Jeremiah 29:11 Does anything in life ever go as planned? Eh, maybe a short list of a few things, definitely nothing about this pregnancy with Veya.   That’s why I am not completely sure why I was so shocked when I had to learn the lesson that Veya’s journey is on God’s Timing not ours at my 20 week anatomy scan. All of our lives are based on God’s Timing. It doesn’t matter how much we prepare, stress or worry because His will is to be done His way, yet we often forget that in life and we wander around thinking that we are in control.   And nothing else in my life has proved this more than our sweet Veya.   Her timing and God’s timing trumps anything I think I might have the slightest control over.   (and maybe this is just a prelude to my future with this feisty little warrior) What I thought was just going to be, yet another routine and uneve

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”  Jeremiah 1:5 We have been blessed as a family to bring our sweet Veya Hope into the world December 2023 .  A little girl who has changed the hearts and lives of her parents forever. Her journey is new for us, despite us having three children already. She is making it known that she is her own person; even though, we are convinced she already has both of our stubborn tendencies. This blog will be dedicated to telling our experiences with her.   It’s our hope that not only will it help us process everything, but that it might also be able to help someone else going through a similar situation. It is our prayer that we glorify God as we walk this path, unknown to us but completely known to Him.